The Only Things That Matter

Many people have a tendency to see little limitations in their loved ones, areas that they could improve upon that would "make them better". These limitations include such notions as "I wish she cleaned the house more" to "I'd prefer it if he didn't do ______" and I think we can all understand certain sentiments; however, perhaps we would all be happier if we instead focused on the unique, positive characteristics that our loved ones have instead of seeing where they "fall short". I put these words in quotes because it's not true that people are falling short - we only see that because that is the lens that we are choosing to view them through. That we are seeing faults in these people that we love so much is our fault.  Think about if that person would be gone from your life today - I can almost guarantee you that you would missing that person so much and all the wonderful things that they offered you and you wouldn't care about those little things that you wished were different before. Let's all try to appreciate and love our friends and significant others exactly for who they are, not who we think they  should be. Everyone has their own special talents and gifts that they offer and there is no such thing as a prescribed way that a woman or a man or a friend should be.

For example, men do not need to fall under the category that they should make a ton of money in order to be men nor do women need to be the perfect Suzy Homemaker in order to be the perfect woman. These societal expectations and ideals are damaging to our special (and yes, PERFECT) personalities and quirks. If you find yourself at any point focusing on a perceived negative quality about your loved one, try this instead: find one or two things that when you initially met your friend or lover stood out to you as so cool and awesome and so unlike anyone you'd ever met before. These things are the ONLY things that matter. Besides, it is my belief that when you focus so much on the good, the less savory aspects fall away from your attention and voila! You don't even think about them anymore and it's all good, right? 

Note: I am not speaking of friendships or relationships that are abusive or dysfunctional. I am speaking of solid, loving relationships with people that are good and healthy for us, people that we are safe and secure with, that by all counts are our Forever Type Love friendships and relationships.