A bite of their own

somewhere in between the dove and the wolf

maybe more wolf than anything though

when you play with a wild animal

excitement

and at at times, bitten

but how exhilarating is that bite

and the play in between

for so long strove to be the dove

not understanding what the wolf actually meant

or perhaps

knowing it too well

wise enough now realizing I’m not all wolf

few are

but my teeth are sharper than i’ve wanted to admit

don’t be afraid of me

teeth are useful

and fun

and those with a bite of their own

will not be afraid of mine

Scary & EXHILARATING

Remember: being a true badass entails living with an open heart. Most of us have needed to develop “armor” to survive in this tough world. Don’t let your armor block your Love from reaching others.

People are precious. People can also change. We’ve all been conditioned in different ways through challenging childhoods, heartbreaks or bullying.

Sometimes people develop protective mechanisms due to these situations. Have compassion for people. We are all literally doing the best we know how to do.

Sometimes, some people just don’t know how to be better. This is where a little bit of your Love can change another person’s heart.  It’s happened to me and I’ve been witness to changing other people many, many times in my life.

Maybe you’ve had a hard life. Maybe you’re having a hard time justifying living with an open heart because it seems like everyone is out to get you. Some people ARE out to take advantage of you - but most are not.

Remember that we all began as innocent infants, two-year-olds, four-year-olds,… give people a chance. You never know what can be on the other side and that is a scary and exhilarating concept to live.



#fankickmafia #pancakemafiatoo #trainlikeabrandisgirl #brandiland

Visual Perception

The saying, “Things are not always as they appear” is more true than your typical platitude. Seeing is not something that we do with only our eyes - in fact, the eyes are a fraction of the process involved in what we constitute as “seeing”. As much as we may want to believe that there is one objective “reality”, perception is something that cannot be divorced from what the eyes see and is ruled by many factors. One factor I address here is the role of the emotional state on perception and seeing.

Typically, emotions and visual perception are thought to be mechanisms operating independently of each other; however, one’s current emotion state can affect how an environment is perceived. For example, most of the time, people have a tendency to process their surroundings globally; however, stressed conditions seems to minimize the spatio-temporal field, thus narrowing attention. In 1959, psychologist J.A. Easterbrook proposed his hypothesis that “the range of cues attended to is inversely related to the degree of arousal; that is, in a state of increased arousal, attention narrows and fewer environmental stimuli are focused on.” (Easterbrook)

Conversely, findings since Easterbrook’s hypothesis have supported the notion that positive emotion encourages global attention. When researchers induce a happy or stressed mood by having participants reflect on and write about a happy or stressful event from their lives, those in positive moods perceived their environment in a global perceptual style, whereas participants in stressed moods adopted a local perceptual style.

A common test to measure global and local perception is the Kimchi test, wherein participants are shown a geometric figure made up of three small squares arranged in the overall shape of  a triangle. People are then asked which of the comparison figures is most similar: a triangle composed of small triangles or a square composed of small squares. The local response would be to elect the figure with squares, the global response being the figure with the triangles.

To read more about the Easterbrook study, this is a good starting point:

Easterbrook J.A. The effect of emotion on cue utilization and the organization of behavior. Psychological Review. 1959;66(3):183–201.

Formed By Responsibility + Resolve

There are some games you don’t get to play unless you’re all in.

If you want to live a life of meaning, you must first decide this is what you want. Living a life of meaning is not a thing that happens to you naturally. Our first instinct is often to run in the other direction as soon as difficulty arises. Your decision sets the tone for how you will deal with all subsequent circumstances.

What’s the upside to facing all this inconvenient struggle? You get to live at the top of your game. You get to know what you’re really made of. You get to look at your face in the mirror and see not the face of a naive hobbledehoy but instead the face of a person formed by their responsibility and resolve.

I’m often asked by students how they can be more sexy. This is what makes a person truly sexy. Everything else is ornamental, but that “attitude” all comes from this decision to live life and all of its unknowns all in.

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The saddest betrayal

You may not always be liked and you may not always fit in with “the crowd” when you speak and act the truth of who you are. But you must be who you are. Otherwise you turn your back on yourself and that is the saddest betrayal.

Who are you? What do you think about in your quiet moments? What is important to you? When you realize the answers to these questions, then you must act in accordance with your own ideals.

This is what this life is for. It’s not always going to be fun and easy, but it was never meant to be. You don’t find out what you’re really made of until you come up against some pain anyway.

The meaning in your life is directly proportional to the amount of responsibility that you take for your life. Make your life count so you can go to bed each night proud of the woman you are and the woman that you’re becoming.

There is inspiration everywhere. And if you need more help, simply ask. 

#trainlikeabrandisgirl #fankickmafia  #brandiland

Trolls

I heard someone suggest that online bullying isn’t real. Of course online bullying is real. We are human beings and no matter what technology is invented, like literally every other thing in life, some of us are going to act like arrogant fools and others will act civilly.

I do think some people invite bullies in because of the way they act, but generally speaking, no one deserves to be bullied. I think we all knew that kid in school that acted in such a way that practically invited people to tease them – even people that typically weren’t bullies – but the truth is also that if you are a person living your life authentically, you are going to have people that hate you. That’s the price to living an authentic life and it’s a price that most people are not willing to pay.

People love to wax poetic about how everyone should strive to "live authentically" but no one really talks about the fact that when you do that, you open yourself up to people that will strike at that vulnerability (and living authentically means being vulnerable). The upside to living a real life (meaning you are an outward expression of more than just your socially acceptable persona) is that you will have many people that adore you. And you must live authentically if you want to ever be happy. Being happy and being hated are not mutually exclusive.

I think that what it says about our society that we’ve gone from physical bullying to digital is that people just feel more free to let their dark sides out online because it’s anonymous. I think it’s pathetic because these trolls in real life are most likely polite and “friendly” milquetoasts with their seething resentments hidden under their surface personas.

These types of personalities have always existed in our world, now they just have a place to let their pent up resentments and insecurities out, unrestrained by responsibility and identity. Trolls are of the weakest beings because they betray their very identities and selves every time they make an anonymous hate comment.

If you’re going to hate online, at least put the power of your actual name behind it so at least you can have some self-respect - no matter how paltry that respect actually is.

Pure

As a person, a teacher and a friend, I am a balance of “fun to play with” and “instigator”. I’m full of laughs but I’m not the one you come to when you want to hear what you want to hear. I’ll teach you how to empower yourself, but I’m not the one to come to when you need your ego fluffed with meaningless flattery. I will tell you the truth, and most times it will make you feel like you can take on the world, but sometimes it’s going to hurt your feelings or piss you off. I am a lover at my core, but God gave me these teeth and I will use them when I need to.

I know without a doubt, that my bite is as pure as my embrace. You need teeth in order to have any semblance of internal or external power in this world. Better still, you need deep familiarity and knowledge of those teeth. This familiarity enables those teeth to be channeled for good instead of unchecked chaos.

My bite is what never allows my friends, students or myself to languish in self-hate, weakness or excuses. My bite is the voice that speaks out against the bullies and assholes of the world. My bite is what impels me to leave situations or people that are draining my vitality. I don’t know who or where I’d be without these teeth.

Find your teeth. Stop being afraid to be a bitch. Stop being afraid of not being “a nice person”. A truly good person is in touch with all aspects of themselves, light and dark, and uses them for beneficial purposes, controlling that darkness appropriately.

We all have light and dark within us. The difference between those of us that accept the darkness and those that do not is the difference between integration and fracture.

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What Should I Wear To A Pole Dance Class or Pole Party?

In this video, I explain what to wear to a pole dance class or a pole dance party. Don't be nervous - you are going to be in great hands! Pole Dance Instructors are very talented and skilled at making women feel comfortable and safe. It's normal to not know what to expect and to feel nervous and scared at first, but don't let that prevent you from taking your first pole fitness class! Once you get to the pole studio, you will see how friendly and warm your instructor is as well as the other students.

Specialty Pole Dance Attire is not the only thing you can wear to class - you can basically wear anything you want as long as you are comfortable and can move your body freely.

Don't forget - no body lotion or hand lotion the day of your class or party! If you want more information on taking great care of your skin if you're a pole dancer, check out my "Skincare For Pole Dancers - The Secret To Grippy Skin For The Pole" here:


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