Pure

As a person, a teacher and a friend, I am a balance of “fun to play with” and “instigator”. I’m full of laughs but I’m not the one you come to when you want to hear what you want to hear. I’ll teach you how to empower yourself, but I’m not the one to come to when you need your ego fluffed with meaningless flattery. I will tell you the truth, and most times it will make you feel like you can take on the world, but sometimes it’s going to hurt your feelings or piss you off. I am a lover at my core, but God gave me these teeth and I will use them when I need to.

I know without a doubt, that my bite is as pure as my embrace. You need teeth in order to have any semblance of internal or external power in this world. Better still, you need deep familiarity and knowledge of those teeth. This familiarity enables those teeth to be channeled for good instead of unchecked chaos.

My bite is what never allows my friends, students or myself to languish in self-hate, weakness or excuses. My bite is the voice that speaks out against the bullies and assholes of the world. My bite is what impels me to leave situations or people that are draining my vitality. I don’t know who or where I’d be without these teeth.

Find your teeth. Stop being afraid to be a bitch. Stop being afraid of not being “a nice person”. A truly good person is in touch with all aspects of themselves, light and dark, and uses them for beneficial purposes, controlling that darkness appropriately.

We all have light and dark within us. The difference between those of us that accept the darkness and those that do not is the difference between integration and fracture.

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What Should I Wear To A Pole Dance Class or Pole Party?

In this video, I explain what to wear to a pole dance class or a pole dance party. Don't be nervous - you are going to be in great hands! Pole Dance Instructors are very talented and skilled at making women feel comfortable and safe. It's normal to not know what to expect and to feel nervous and scared at first, but don't let that prevent you from taking your first pole fitness class! Once you get to the pole studio, you will see how friendly and warm your instructor is as well as the other students.

Specialty Pole Dance Attire is not the only thing you can wear to class - you can basically wear anything you want as long as you are comfortable and can move your body freely.

Don't forget - no body lotion or hand lotion the day of your class or party! If you want more information on taking great care of your skin if you're a pole dancer, check out my "Skincare For Pole Dancers - The Secret To Grippy Skin For The Pole" here:


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Goodbye Instagram & Facebook

Last night I deleted my personal Instagram account and deactivated my personal Facebook account. I’ve been wanting to delete my social media accounts for some time now, but this week a few things transpired that pushed me to it.

My intention with taking myself off of social media is to be closer with others, not to distance myself. What I am distancing myself from is the "illusion" of connection that social media provides. This illusion at times prevents me from actually connecting with people because my brain is “tricked” into thinking it’s getting the closeness that it needs. This is what social media was designed for - to provide the proverbial “dangling carrot” but never actually bestowing it. Social media doesn’t make us happy, it only keeps us distracted.

The feeling that we are all doing things just to get photos and videos of it to post online has always bothered me, in myself and in others. I’ve always been a person that forgets to pull my camera out during events or vacations because I’m wrapped up in the moment. Somehow, this ability to be in the moment became an unfortunate thing, because I had no evidence or pretty photos of what I was doing and with whom. This kind of makes me sick.

The past few months when I’ve looked at my Instagram page, I’ve been starting to feel that I’m not sure how to convey the entirety of who I am by what I post. I know that social media is not meant to convey the entirety of a person, but I began to realize that I didn’t like that.

I have been having experiences lately where I am in touch with a universe inside myself. It’s everything that I am. From these experiences of myself, I no longer feel satisfied with certain aspects of life such as social media. It all feels empty now.

Additionally, I don’t want to be a part of a world that is so disconnected from truth. I was viewing a photo of a model where it was very obvious that she was surgically enhanced as well as perfectly made up and styled - not to mention the photo was edited to perfection - and her caption was the Helen Keller quote: “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.” 

I love physical beauty and I love good photography and great editing, and I have no issues with plastic surgery, but why not just own what your photo is expressing instead of putting a quote that completely goes against what your entire look is aiming at? It feels schizophrenic and sends conflicting messages, especially to people that are looking to these “influencers” as role models.

I’m a little scared. Scared that I’ll be irrelevant in my industry without posting a constant stream of videos and photos showing off what I can do on a pole and what my body and face look like. I’m scared I’ll never get another modeling gig again. I’m scared I’ll make less money because I don’t have that platform to advertise my services. I’m scared that I’ve become more reliant on social media than I previously thought and that I’m going to feel alone.

I’m glad I made this choice though. I have a feeling life is going to be better despite my initial fears and that I’ll actually feel closer to people and closer to myself. We’ll see what happens.

Experiencing Abandon

Last night I watched a Nick Broomfield documentary called, “Fetishes”. I’ve never had any fetishes but was drawn to this documentary. The film focused solely on BDSM and a New York City dungeon, “Pandora’s Box.” I started off with a scared feeling as the head mistress gave Broomfield a tour of the dungeon (the medical room made me feel really scared), but about 15 minutes into the film, my mind was completely opened to what BDSM actually is.

Broomfield was able to capture footage of the sessions with the clients and their mistresses. I realized through watching these encounters that BDSM is really all about two things: sensation and trust/total abandon. Firstly, these clients were so in touch with what gave them pleasure - many of them had been aware of their own distinct pleasures from very young ages. And they accepted it as part of their sexuality.

How many of us are in touch with the fact that a sensation felt at some point in our development gave them “good feelings” and then subsequently accepted that into our identities? Most, I would imagine, would feel shame about such “weird” proclivities and disassociate from them, relegating them to the realm of suppression.

Secondly, these clients are courageous enough to venture out in order to partake in this very particular sensory experience with another human, thereby showing some of their most vulnerable aspects to another. I was awestruck by the level at which these clients were able to trust.

There was a man that had a rubber/bondage fetish and he liked to be outfitted in a full-body and face rubber suit with only two tubes coming out of his nose so he could breathe. His mistress had total control of his sensory experience and whether he breathed…or not. He trusted her that much.

I found myself jealous of his ability to trust someone that much. I don’t want to be in a rubber suit, but I want to be able to have that level of abandon with another person. I want to be that intimate and vulnerable with another person. I think these clients are able to be completely themselves during these sessions and that is mind-blowing to me. I once thought BDSM was scary and strange but I see it now as something pure and actually very beautiful. It is not about pain, it is, at its core, about experiencing utter and complete abandon.

I think the idea that most people hold of mistresses is that they are very mean, yet powerful amazons. What I saw was that these women are fully present, creative and loving. And yes, powerful. Who doesn’t want to be around that type of energy? I connected to a part of myself when I was watching the mistresses and seeing the unreserved, demonstrative and devoted energy that they brought to their work. I saw myself in that.

I also have always enjoyed grabbing, smacking and biting the ones I love (sometimes bringing them to the edges of pain but then scaling back and “doing nice” again). I never really knew why I did this, I just thought it was something weird about me that I probably shouldn’t talk about (an ex used to shame me for it, insinuating there was something wrong with me).

Now I realize - because the mistresses modeled for me a different reality - an internal experience I have always had but never understood. I don’t think I’ll become a dominatrix any time soon, but I can accept and subsequently enjoy this part of myself now because I understand it more.

I feel invigorated today and that the world is more mine. I am connected to it and the people in it in a new way.

This Life of Mine

If you would’ve told me 8 years ago when I was working as a technical writer for a DoD subcontractor that I would be doing drop splits off a pole in a bikini I would’ve said, “That would be a miracle.” Needless to say - I believe in miracles. 

I’ve added another stretch class to my Citrus Park schedule… I teach “All Level Splits N Straddles” every Tuesday night, 8:30PM - 9:15PM, and every Saturday morning, 10AM - 10:15AM. Let’s get weird

The Shadow Side of Authenticity

Yesterday and Today were days of epiphany and processing - two themes that are dear, old friends of mine. Some time ago I chose to live open-hearted and with this, I knew I’d be wide open to not only the “good” authentic aspects of myself and of others, but also the “bad”. I was scared but I chose this path because once you see behind the curtain there is no going back. 

With this choice comes the realization that I will experience the highest of highs but I will also know deep pain as well. I continue to chose to be open because even though the pain is scary, what it brings are Helpers - and I mean this in a very real sense. 

I had a text conversation today with a person that completely changed my perspective. Had I not been open to my own pain with myself and subsequently shared that with another, I imagine I’d be trying to “figure it out” on my own and that has always been a paltry crumb compared to the connection and revelation brought on by another.

Living authentically is not all rainbows and glitter. But pain is part of “doing life right” and it shouldn’t be made into a monster. Pain - and joy - mean you are experiencing this thing called life to its fullest. And this is where all the miracles are.

What would someone that loves themselves do right now?

“What would someone that loves themselves do right now?” 

This is an exercise I’ve been practicing for the past few days. With the end of the fall semester upon me, running two studios full time and just getting over a breakup, it’s been a challenging time for me for sure.

Asking myself this question multiple times throughout the day has yielded results that feel so good. I was on hold with the IRS this morning and started to get frustrated getting passed from one customer service rep to the next when I remembered to ask myself, “What would someone that loves themselves do right now?” 

My irritation quickly faded and my intuition told me, “Keep the phone on speaker and go pick up the cat.” I immediately felt better and got done what needed to be done with the taxes. It’s funny how our intuition always tells us what’s best for us, we only need ask....and then listen. 

This holiday season I invite you all to ask yourself this question anytime you feel overwhelmed or unsure of what decision you should make. I’m really loving the way it’s making me remember who I am, especially in the hardest and most stressful of times!

Love to all of you, Brandi

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⭐️November is for Miracles⭐️


A “Facebook Memory” from 6 years ago popped up on my timeline this morning. It was a post written when I was running my business out of a 150 sq. ft. space. In November 2012 I went to work every day with my to-do lists, I decorated that tiny space with the heart of someone decorating the Taj Mahal. I put my sign out on the street everyday. I worked. I waited. I worked more and my heart was the holder of a constant anticipation. Less than three months later my entire life and business took a new direction.

The seeds of my work were blooming. Six years later my seeds continue to bloom. There is and always has been a knowing that I will always be in business. I will always be of service to people and be compensated for it. As I was six years ago, and again last year when I opened my 2nd studio I am again on the cusp of something brighter now. These seeds continue to grow, they’ve been growing like a vine for 39 years. Are you growing? Do you feel this stirring of the heart I speak of here? Do you believe in miracles? My friend, there is nothing I won’t have and the same is true for you.

I believe in the teachers of the world, the ones who make you say, “I will never see the world the same way again.” Something is happening inside, I work and I wait. And then, when I’m least expecting it - in the midst of a practice session or during a joyful editing process - The Call comes. 👩🏻‍🏫 Ms. Wanda Paeka, Mr. Milton Watts, Mr. Richard Geiger, Miss Cindy, Sarah Murray, Richard Fixler, Chris Campbell...teachers that changed my life I’m forever grateful, in my heart always. Thank you for showing me a different way to see the world.

Thank you God for the Love I experience every day from the caring students, friends, and chance encounters of my everyday. I asked for this life a long time ago in my bedroom as a very young child and I will never forget or take this for granted. This is my Life and my Purpose. ⭐️November is for miracles⭐️#brandiland

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Goodbye To What Was Never Mine

I always had my own way about myself before anything happened. And then a thing came along that made me question that way. I thought it was me this whole time, these swirls of confusion, but it was not. I lay it down now here. I no longer need to understand those things, I never again will need to try. They do not belong to me and they never did. I do not need to carry this anymore.

Goodbye.

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